A study from Europe suggests that gardening may be a cure for erectile dysfunction. But what good is that if Smilin' Bob enjoys irrigating more than fornicating?
According to an article in the June 17, 1999 Sacramento Bee, men prefer gardening to sex. The study, funded by Home and Garden Television, found that 52% of male "home enthusiasts" prefer working in the yard, gardening and landscaping to having sex (47%).
Further research done by the Farmer Fred Institute uncovered 12 reasons why:
• Anytime of the month is OK for gardening.
• You're more likely to hear your wife say, "Good job!"
• Filling gas engine constitutes foreplay.
• Don't have to lie down in "wet spots".
• Gardening tools are more widely available than those other "tools".
• HGTV less expensive than Playboy Channel.
• Fondling flowers in public is OK.
• "Extra hands" in the garden don't require batteries.
• After gardening, you don't have to go get towels.
• It's the only way you'll ever see your wife wearing kneepads.
• Brushing dirt off overalls is easier than removing hair from mouth.
• Vibrating lawn dethatcher handles!