Here are valid excuses for maintaining your yard the way you do:
When complaints arise about tall weeds:
It's Western Meadowlark habitat!
Dandelions got your guests in a snit?
Dandelions attract beneficial insects, including lacewings and ladybugs!
Complaints about low, unpruned tree branches that are not in anyone's way?
Shade preserves soil moisture, helps prevent sunburn on trunk.
Dead flowers on roses upsetting the in-laws?
Rose hips build a stronger rose bush; and, great as a healthy tea!
Green, weedy areas beyond vegetable garden have relatives wondering why you are soooo lazy?
It's a grasshopper trap crop!
Lots of wrinkly noses, upturned at your spotted spurge?
It's a low growing, easy care groundcover!
Piles of tree trimmings attracting unwanted attention?
It's songbird habitat. They control the bad bug population, including tomato hornworms.
Pile of garden debris, way in the back, discovered by party guests?
Tell them it's a passive compost pile!
Low soil level in potted plants have parents making little remarks?
That low soil level allows more water to be absorbed without overflowing!
Weeds in lawn have the purists clucking?
Weeds? That's clover, which adds nitrogen! Nature abhors a monoculture.
Does that unkempt wildflower area have mom reaching for the clippers?
It's bee food!
Do those plants that are crowding out others have the neat freaks in a tizzy?
That plant in the middle? It's deciduous. So, those outer plants "add winter interest."
Did the local garden expert note that the citrus rootstock is taking over entire plant?
Thick rind on ugly fruit is great for zest!
Did someone point out that your rose bush is growing from below the bud union?
Tell them that you have always been fascinated by Dr. Huey! Dr. Huey has been used for years as a rootstock for Hybrid Tea roses. When the grafted rose dies, the Dr. Huey rootstock sprouts and thrives.
Unsightly Tree Stump got folks trippin'?
You're decomposing it the Amish way!
Does that collection of scraggly plants in a corner of the yard have neighbors wondering?
It's your tax-deductible orphanage for unloved flowers!
Do all the feral cats in your yard have folks thinking your one step away from "bag lady time"?
Gophers keep them fat and happy! (just don't overfeed them!)