GARDENING SHOES OR "GARDEN SHOES"?
VS.
I got a quick rise when I read the headline of the latest blog post from the UC Davis Good Life Garden: "Tennis Shoes? Flip Flops? Or Do You Garden in Rubber Boots Too?"
Finally, I thought, a discussion of functional garden footwear! But, sadly, no. That blog was a promotion for another blog, which uses the phrase, "Rubber Boots" as part of its title.
So, I guess it's time to weigh the pros and cons of the various styles of gardening shoes here.
Note that I said "gardening shoes", not "garden shoes".
There is a difference.
"Gardening shoes" imply footwear that combines function, comfort and safety while working outdoors.
"Garden shoes" are an amalgam of style and color, with an overabundance of plastic. Their job: make the gardener look good, as in "Don't these purple sandals complement my English Lavender? And they go so well with the mauve wall color in our dining room!"
"Gardening shoes" are worn by horticultural heroes for whom the term "sweat shirt" means "cool weather warmth" or "The stinky, wet short-sleeve tee with the 1977 Lynyrd Skynyrd Tour Schedule on the back that gets worn every Saturday".
These are the gardeners who are dripping perspiration by 10 a.m., after spending the early morning shoveling, wheelbarrowing and transplanting.
"Garden shoes" are on the feet of rose snippers, leaf fondlers and blossom sniffers who wander through their garden after Sunday brunch, a copy of Sunset magazine in one hand, a Mimosa in the other. Their main job: straighten up the area so that their landscape service doesn't think they are slobs. Their shoes were not constructed to traverse any of these outdoor conditions: mud, weeds, snails or walking any distance more than the 70 feet between the front porch and the back fence.
And that's assuming they have a "backyard". Sorry, but that patio/outdoor kitchen (complete with overhead fan and pizza oven) inlaid with the 400 square feet of travertine tile that supports six oversized terracotta planters from Pottery Barn doesn't count. This group can take a swiveling seat in their Martha Stewart Bistro table and chair set and go back to reading the artichoke quiche recipes in Sunset while us gardeners talk practical footwear.
What do hard working gardeners want in a shoe? A shoe that doesn't distract from a day in the yard. A shoe that a gardener can spend the entire day wearing without a complaint, racking up the miles and the fingernail dirt. A worry-free shoe that doesn't make you stop in mid-pruning to take care of blisters, cramped toes or sticky weeds that work their way into the socks. A shoe that repels water during a broken sprinkler repair job. A shoe with a solid sole for shoveling and a reinforced toe for when you drop your shovel. A shoe with a sole that has some grip on slippery surfaces but doesn't track excess mud into the house.
No single shoe meets all those requirements. Some, though, come close. A review, based on 30 years of yardwork. The grading system:
**** Great for gardening use. You won't think about them at all.
*** Recommended, with certain limitations. Good backup pair.
** Feels good when you put them on... you'll regret it later.
* Great while sitting on the patio. Hey, is there something burning in your outdoor pizza oven?
RUBBER BOOTS
Function: *** Does it all for Pacific Northwest gardeners.
Comfort: ** Fine, for about 15 minutes.
Safety: **** Ain't nothin' gonna attack you through that!
HALF BOOTS
Function: **** Blundstones
!
! Comfort: **** Blundstones!
Safety: *** Blundstones! (But they will track in mud)
HIKING SHOES
Function: *** Does it all; laces attract sticky weeds.
Comfort: *** With the right socks, yes.
Safety: *** Won't stop the mud in the house.
SLIP-ONS
Function: *** Hard sole is good for digging.
Comfort: **** Wear 'em all day!
Safety: *** Clean before going inside, or your safety is at risk.
GARDEN CLOGS
Function: ** Not for digging or making mudpies.
Comfort: *** Yes, until the insides are gravelly.
Safety: *** Watch your ankles for insect bites.
SNEAKERS
Function: *** A harder sole is better for digging.
Comfort: *** Excellent, until wet.
Safety: ** Foxtails stick in laces.
SANDALS
Function: * Have you ever tried digging in sandals?
Comfort: ** Fine, til the bottoms of your feet get sweaty.
Safety: * Choose nail polish to match stubbed toes.
"GARDEN SHOES"
Function: * Matches blooms of "Cherish" rose.
Comfort: ** While sitting, drinking Mimosas...sure!
Safety: * What's crawling on my toes? Eww, it's a bug!
AERATOR SHOES
Function: * Compacts soil. Twists ankles.
Comfort: * If you like the feel of nipple rings, you'll like these.
Safety: * Not for use during backyard games of "Twister".
NO SHOES
Function: * Slug squishing keeps feet cool!
Comfort: ** Fine, until you step on a rock.
Safety: * At least your socks won't bunch up.
